Typical Sunday In Geneva

Sunday in Geneva 20 degrees, no plans, no brunches to attend, what does one do?

What everybody is doing, going to the lake.
Must not forget to apply sun blocker.

My Public Transportation Hell

Geneva has a very sophisticated always on time network of trams which I am very grateful for since I cannot drive. Well, I like to think that I can, I simply don´t have a license and in Geneva you don´t really need to drive. Finding a parking spot in Geneva is very hard, can I park here, oh no, blue lines, I need a macaron thingie, can I park there, yes, but only from Monday to Tuesday between 04:00 and 4:30 in the morning and so on.

So, like most of the people I know here, I am taking the tram which is quite OK. It´s not like in L.A. where only the poor people take the tram, it´s absolutely accepted here and also a very interesting place to do some people watching. You have the bankers in their cute little outfits hunched over their blackberries, the adorable Russian girls from Lukoil in their amazingly tight costumes, people from the UN in colorful gowns, well, depending on country of origin, spoiled american au-pairs which end every sentence with "totally" or "awesome" and so on.

There is only one thing I really hate about trams. It´s the level of noise in there. I am not really an aggressive person, but those kiddies with their cell phones playing french rap on speakerphone are driving me towards insanity. I am not a big fan of rap neither am I into the French language so you can imagine what it think of Leh Rubb. One day I will forget my Ipod at home and that is the day when one of these cell phones is flying out of the window.

The other source of noise I hate on the trams are the musicians. Actually I wouldn´t call them musicians, I would call them people with instruments. Most of them prefer the #15 tram going towards Cornavin train station, getting on at the Plain Palais stop. It seems they figured out that the could make the most money on that line. There are so many of them in different configurations, it´s amazing. There are the guitar boys, the old guy with the violin, the countless accordion players, The cello trio, the saxophone women who always butchers "Que Sera, Sera" and of course my personal favorite, Synthesizer Lady.

That women is amazing. She has one of these huge ugly keyboards on top of a stroller with an optional baby in there. Sometimes it´s there, sometimes it´s not. If it´s the same baby I don´t know. Anyway, keyboard on top of stroller and amplifier from hell on the bottom of the stroller. She is always very friendly, saying bonjour and bon journee but that doesn´t help the fact that her singing is awful. I mean really bad. Imagine an old Fado, that Portuguese I want to slash my wrists, but I will sing about it for hours so you want to slash your throat music, singer who had too many ciggies and too much whiskey in her life so her voice sounds like a rusty file plus the inability to stay in tune or in rhythm. It´s unbearable, every time she steps on the tram I am switching my music to the loudest cheap Techno I can find, it´s so bad.

Tourists might find music in public transportation romantic, I don´t and if I want hear that kind of music, I go to Paris.

Never go on public transport without an Ipod, earplugs or suicide pills!!

I Want To See Kylie

Glocals is having a competition in the moment, the best posting on why one would deserve to see Kylie Minogue´s concert in Geneva can win 2 VIP tickets. I want these tickets!!!

I will never ever do something unscripted again. I blabber too much and too fast and loose my grammar on the way.

Anyway, here is my posting, I decided to make a little video.

Downtown -- You Won´t Find A Place For Sure

Geneva is not as vibrant as it could be to begin with but it seems that the Bel-Air area is slowly dying in the moment. One Bar is closing after the other. The latest was Le Baroque and now Alhambar might get closed down so we get another music hall.

I like this side of the lake, it´s nicer, it has the good shopping, the parcs, the cute bankers you can watch during lunch time, all the fancy schmancy jewellers but it is nearly dead as soon as the shops close.

Do I really have to go to Paquis everytime I want to lounge in a bar in the evening? I am not a fan of Paquis, never found prostitues appealing, especially prostitutes who think I might be potential business. Come on, as personal relaxation assistants should their gaydars be up to date, and I beep loud and clearly, trust me. So I don´t like to be around Paquis, I´m not scared but I simply don´t like it. A friend of mine got very scared when we were walking through Paquis and I explained to her that the drug dealers will not harm her since they want to make a living as well. A nice and friendly non mercie is enough to get them off your back.

Anyway, does´nt Geneva have someone who is planning or controlling the city with it´s bars, shops and stuff? I mean there should be at least some places to go to in Bel-Air besides the UBS ATM. No wonder cocooning became such a trend.

Tick Tock

TICK TOCK

Vacation In Style - There Is A Waiting List. 30 Years!

As it seems my ideas of traveling do not fit my actual age. I was surfing the net last night looking for a nice destination for the next trip. Of course there are all these monster hotels on the coast of a bigger or smaller island, cruises on huge ships which have everything form a movie theater to a mall, for the adventurous people there are backpacking trips through Asia or Australia.

All the above things are not for me. For me, the Hotel is as important as the destination itself. As I have mentioned before, I love Hotels and not leaving the Hotel room the entire day sounds very blissful. So what would be the best vacation for me? I guess a fancy hotel room that moves around and all I have to do is step out to see something new, or simply look out of the window. Some people might say that I should try an RV trip where you drive around in a truck which has everything you need. Well, I am not a big fan of that since I have to cook, clean, make the bed and stuff like that and taking a servant along on the trip is impractical. I need my privacy.

So yesterday I found the perfect thing for me. A trip down the Nile in a luxury steamer ship originally constructed in Preston by the Royal Navy in 1918, the SS Misr was purchased and later converted into a luxury Nile steamer for King Farouk and is recorded as the venue for the King’s birthday celebrations. Now fully restored to a 5-star deluxe propeller steam vessel, the SS Misr accommodates just 45 passengers in spacious, air-conditioned cabins and suites and there is a crew of 63 to ensure the highest level of service. All cabins and suites have a private balcony and en-suite bathrooms.

The two Panorama suites at the front of the vessel offer impressive panoramic views. The period-style restaurant accommodates all guests at one sitting. There is also a lower sun deck with comfortable wicker chairs and an upper sun deck with a pool and sun beds for relaxation. I love the fact that there are only 45 passengers and 63 crew. I don´t like large crowds of people, for example at the breakfast buffet in the morning. Wait, I don´t do breakfast buffets, I prefer having breakfast in my room.

Another thing I would also enjoy would be a vacation on board of a luxury train going cross country. I mean a real luxury train not the Amtrak where I have to shower over the toilet.
With a nice suite cabin with separate sitting area.


A picturesque (that would be creepy with lots of fog) villa somewhere on a cliff in England would be nice as well, but they should have a helipad somewhere on the grounds, just in case I feel the urge to go clubbing and I am sure there is no club in the next town 50 miles away named Tippton St. Something.


There is a catch to all the above mentioned. I AM TOO YOUNG FOR THIS. All the pictures of the ship or the train where you can actually see people, features a wide selection of white haired people. If the youngest guest on one of these trips is under 55 you are lucky. Can you imagine me surrounded by a crowd of elderly ladies and gentlemen? I would be in the bar car from eleven in the morning on to drown my sorrow that there is no one who wants to play with me in Martini. Wearing a tuxedo of course, being an alcoholic is fine but lack of style is inexcusable.

If there would be an Agatha Christie travel company I would book with them for the rest of my life. Death on the Nile tour, yes please. Murder on the orient express, wait, let me look for my Vuitton trunks. Random English mansion murder mystery, you got me on mansion. Evil under the sun, I´ll take one, keep the sun.

I miss the 1920´s.

Hotels

The first time I can remember staying at a hotel was when I was 5 years old and I loved it and I still love staying in Hotels. I don´t exactly know what it is that I love about hotels that much but I feel instantly at home. Maybe because some people say my apartment looks like a hotel. I like the reduced clutter free look. No red walls to scare me away, no porcelain figurines to gather dust. I love symetry and I love understatement in terms of interiour design. More is less sometimes.

I stayed in a very lovely hotel last weekend, if I weren´t that busy running around town meeting as many people, I haven´t seen in a while, as possible I could have stayed in my room the whole time. Maybe because the hotel was located in the hip and happening media harbour district of Düsseldorf or maybe because the view I had from my room. The first three years of my life I grew up right opposite the hotel. They are buidling a new house there in the moment but the whole area feels so much like home, I loved it.

Huge bed all for me with a great view. What else can you wish for.

I had to get used to the concept of the open shower though. But I guess it can be great fun watching the other half. You are also able to watch TV through the glass when you are under the shower and there is a speaker right next to the shower head, so you are good to go. I want that at home!

Hotels are simply FABULOUS!

I Loved To Hate You

This is another blog related to my recent class reunion. As I mentioned before, the reunion was ok, a lot of people I was dieing to see didn´t show up, but I was compensated with a very interesting point of myself I haven´t seen so far. Our teacher was there as well, hasn´t aged a day, I wonder how she does it, and we were travelling down memory lane when she mentioned something that left me wondering.

Here is a bit of background. I got into that class in 9th grade. I was very lazy the year before, I was way too busy with plucking my eyebrows, covering my acne and looking at boys, so I had to do an extra round and repeat the year. Looking back, it was the best that could have happened to me. Anyway, when I got into class there were some other new people who came from other schools or had to do that extra round like me. One of them was Eddie. I hated him from the minute he walked in. He was this slavic asshole with a huge macho attitude, thought he was gods present to the world. Back then I was pretty much the opposite. I was in my very very queeny phase, my skin colour was a 100% artificial and my voice was so high and shrieky that only people under the age of 18 and bats where able to hear me. I was weapon grade material.

Eddie and I clashed all the time. We had arguments every single day, you could see daggers of hate shooting out of our eyes while we screamed at each other. It was really bad. It was so bad that we actually disturbed the class so much, that our teacher decided to have us sit next to each other for the rest of the year. She mentioned last weekend that she hoped it would work but expected us to be carried out of class in body bags. Well, it worked. We still had our arguments but we got along and had some sort of respect for each other. We simply loved to hate each other. That was 10 years ago.

Fast forward to last weekends class reunion and guess who came two hours to late, as usual? Eddie. There he was, aged a bit, lost some hair, gained some weight, but it was without a doubt him. He came over, gave me a big bear hug and told me he missed me. Exactly that moment I realized that I din´t hate him back then. OH NO, I had a thing for him! What the hell, how come I never realized that earlier. He was everything I fancied back then. I liked the polish bastards, with their high cheekbones, slender bodies and very manly behaviour. Back then you could´ve lined up a 100 men, I would have found the asshole.

We had a very good time that night, we actually were the only ones, plus Steffi, who went on clubbing. I couldn´t look at him the entire time without grinning about the fact that I was so blind back then. I guess he picked up on my mood because he was starting to tease me. I mean, he is straight, has a kid, an ex-wife and there he is hitting on me. Wouldn´t I´ve been happily married and would still go for that type of men, hell knows.

So, the lesson I have learned that weekend was that you should take a closer look on why you hate someone so much, before you attach the silencer to your gun. That doesn´t mean though that I have a thing for everyone I dislike or hate. Sometimes I just want to throw someone down a flight of stairs.

Clubbing

I mentioned in one of my previous blogs that I would go home for a couple of days to attend another highschool reunion. The reuinion was ok, but the hotel, I will write about that in an extra blog, and the clubbing was way better.

Living in Geneva for 2,5 years and I nearly forgot how it is to be in a club with great decor, full of happy people and cheap, well compaired to Geneva, booze.

We went to the Nachtresidenz in Düsseldorf. It used to be a cinema, I actually saw the Jungle Book with my grandmother there, and had a blast. I am still have to get over the fact that one Liter of Vodka was only 90€.

Here are some more pics of the club and a very shaky video. Sorry I was pretty much hammered.

Cats, Dogs or Sharks?

Since I was little I always loved the Bond movies, or movies with a charismatic villain. While other kids wanted to be an astronaut when they grow up I was a little weird and wanted to be an assassin. While I got rid of my man slaughtering and murdering thoughts, well, most of the time, I still am fascinated with evil people.

Since evil people tend to be outlaws and I´m a socialholic, I think I will simply stick with the image of an evil mastermind but maintain pleasant thoughts. What do I need for the evil image?

Dark and body hugging outfits. Check.
German, or Russian citizenship? Check.
1920´s haircut with the split on the side? Check.
Very pale skin from never going out into the sun? Check.
An obsession with electronic gadgets? Check
No conscience whatsoever, Check.
Mandatory evil pet? DANG!

I need an evil pet, but what kind of pet should I get? I don´t mind having a pet that someone else already has, but I can´t decide what I want. Do I want a white Persian cat like Bloefeld in the Bond movies had? I like the idea and I like cats, the only problem is that these things are H(air)-bombs. I don´t want to pay someone who constantly has to roll me with one of these 3M sticky thingies trying to get rid of all the hair stuck to my custom made suit.

Maybe I should get some Sharks like Carl Stromberg in The Spy Who Loved Me. I like sharks, they are sleek, have a nice colour, so they will match my sofa and drapes, and they are vicious if they sense blood. On the other hand, sharks take away lots of room, are absolutely not good for your water and butchers bill and you can´t cuddle with them very well. Maybe once, but that´s it.

Maybe a set of Dobermans like Hugo drax in Monnraker. I am not the dog person to start with, but Dobermans seem to be fine. I hate happy dogs like retrievers, they are always so happy and bouncy it´s annoying. I want a dog that is veeeeeery awake, looks good, is slim and fast.
I´m not sure about the dogs though, I don´t see myself going on a wee wee walk at six in the morning during a hailstorm. Don´t get me started on those little black plastic bags you need to pick up...

Piranhas, same problem as with sharks. Tigers, nice but kind of gay. Damm you Siegfried and Roy ( Michael Jackson´s Siegfried and Roy song is playing in my head for hours and hours to come, Arrgh) A Mini Me, hm, even in a smaller size, is a copy of myself unbearable. An evil peacock could be fun, but the screaming and all the colours would lead to that thing being dinner pretty fast, I am sure.

The longer I think about it, the more I think I will never find something that suits my needs perfectly. Maybe I should just get an AIBO glue some devil´s horns on its head and am good to go. You Don´t have to feed it, it just needs some time on the charger every now and then, I can mute the thing if it´s too noisy, it´s a wonderful spy due to the build in web cam, mobility and wifi capabality. Best thing though is that I can switch it off.

Candy Who?

Completly random, but it´s always funny to see little gays having fun.
This video IS safe for work the lyrics not so much.




I am so happy that I never went down the emo road in terms of haircuts.

Fashion Statements

For centuries people were making fashion statements with the things they were wearing, with the hairdos they were sporting but in this millenium things have changed a bit. Where you would make a statement with a great T-Shirt you were wearing and positioning yourself within a group with your haircut before, nowadays you have to add one more thing to be fashionable. Your house. With the cocooning trend after 9/11 people tend to stay home more and therefore are redecorating more often. The number of style blogs is incredible and I must say that I read some of them on a daily bases.

So houses and apartments are a fashion statement now. What I am talking about is the fact that nowadays even the kitchens have to be cool. You just can´t wash your hands in the sink anymore, you have to have a bowl. Or not even a bowl, just a shiny flat surface where water pours onto and into infinity. Your kitchen is now so cool that it has bouncers so you can´t get in it. Your dishwasher can get in but you can´t. Your fridge can be dancing the night away at Studio 54 without you.

Living in Geneva has one huge disadvantage. If you rent, like most of us do, the kitchen is already in the apartment and you have not much of a choice. These kitchens are ugly, old and so not cool. My kitchen is lucky if it can get into Shakers.

How can I become a fashionista, what´s the male term anyway, fashionister, if my kitchen is so shitty?

Going Home

I have been quiet yesterday since I am in a scheduling chaos in the moment. Friday is another Highschool reunion, so much for not looking back, I have agreed to attend. I will fly into Düsseldorf on Friday and will return to my fashionable exile of Geneva on Sunday evening. I have a total of 45 hours at home and I honestly have no clue how I will be able to manage to see all the people I want to see. I already grouped some of them, so I will save some time. Rather 3 hours of brunch with 4 people than 4 coffee dates 90 minutes each, plus too much coffee makes me very bouncy.

I want to see: my grandmother, my mother in-law, yes we are on speaking terms and get along fine, my good friend Ruth, my best man Hendrik, Matthäus, Viktoria, Marc, Jens...., plus I need to have my Currywurst, need to go clubbing, a proper club not the Genevan kind, enjoy my lavish hotel room, harass the room service, do a little shopping bla bla bla.

Oh dear how am I supposed to manage all that with 24 hours gone on sleep alone, at least two hours a day spent on maintanance etc.

I am a person to pitty. ;)

Hans Müller - It´s Getting Official

Atila Neves - Lost in Sound

Atila, a lovely guy I met during my time at Shakers has just released his first album "Lost In Sound". You should like the style if you are into Green Day, No Doubt, The Offspring, Sublime, Metallica, Bon Jovi, Avril Lavigne and their like. What amazes me the most is that he did it all by himself. Instruments, vocals, editing, composing, it´s simply amazing.

He is not signed to a label in the moment, but I am sure he will be soon, so he is giving his music away for free!

Check him out on Soundclick.

Shopping Time

We have this huge jar where we keep our spare change, you know all those coins under a Franc, and I have decided to bring it to the bank and do a little shopping. There are a few items on my list I can´t wait to get my hands on.

The Penthouse at the Pierre. The penthouse located at The Pierre Hotel encompasses the top three floors. Spectacular 360-degree views of Manhattan are found in this incomparable property. 70.000.000$

Gulfstream G550 personal jet. Capacity: 14-19 passengers, cabin length: 15.3 m, cabin height: 1.88 m, cruise speed: 488 knots (0.85 Mach, 904 km/h), range: 6,500 nm (15,545 km). 36.000.000$

118 WallyPower high speed yacht. It has a range of 1500 miles at 9 knots, or 300 miles at 60 knots. The fuel capacity of the 118 is 22,000 litres or 5812 gallons. If the gas turbine engines are all out, the 118 WallyPower uses 14 gallons for every mile at 60 knots. At this rate it uses 951 gallons an hour. The displacement of the 118 WallyPower is 95 tons. It can accommodate 6 guests and 6 crew. 24.830.000$

1937 Mercedes-Benz 540K Special Roadster. The early thirties saw Daimler-Benz begin to design high-speed touring cars, culminating in 1936 with the construction of the 540K. The eight-cylinder, 5.4-liter, big-bore engine was supercharged - and engaging; it rewarded drivers with a distinctive C-note from the 540K's whinnying blower. The engine developed 180 horsepower, was capable of 0-60 mph in 16.4 seconds and had a top speed of 105 mph. The steering was stiff at lower speeds, but one look at the body (there were nine options) made it clear that speed would never be a problem. The 5,720-pound car was equipped with a 4-speed manual transmission and four-wheel independent suspension.This was the fastest production automobile of its era. 3.630.000$

One of those rare Grand Complications that doesn't have to shout it from the rooftops, Patek Philippe's 10 Day Tourbillon is subtle and immensely stylish. Fully mechanical and manually wound, the watch boasts a sophisticated tourbillon movement and generous ten-day power reserve indicator, tricky complications to pull off together. A small second hand gives you something to watch on the commuter train. A rectangular platinum case with a 32 mm movement diameter surrounds a rose gold dial, while water resistance down to 25 meters assures you'll be able to wear it into the pool. 270.000$

Louis Vuitton trunk set. Travel in style for the bargain price of 32.000$ for a custom set that will fit in the trunk of your classic car.

With the ammount of coins in that jar, I think the total of 134.762.000$ shouldn´t be a problem, maybe there will be enough left for a Starbucks.

Welcome To Kindergarten, We Accept Credit Cards

I finally went out again last night and I mean going out in the sense of club hopping, seeing friends and coming home hammered at 5 in the morning.

A friend of ours celebrated her birthday at Krystal yesterday. I have never been nor heard of the place before so I was quite curious what this place would have to offer. It was a special party yesterday, the so called "Russian Party" so I was ready to see some really freaky stuff going on.
The party was nice, the music a bit on the special side of things. I never understood Russian music, it always sounded like 1990´s euro-trash meets intoxicated singer to me and yesterday was no exception. Lot´s of songs were T.A.T.U remixes. T.A.T.U the pseudo lesbian hot lolita chicks combo which was huge a few years ago. I expected more bleached blondes with huge lips but the number of guys with no taste in clothing, very expensive watches which looked like toasters on their wrists, and a complete lack of rhythm was impressive.

I got bored after a while so some friends decided that we should move on to another place. While in the car we were contemplating where to go and we decided that we should give Platinum a try. I have been to Platinum a couple of times, but never on a regular Friday or Saturday, only to special parties. The freaky stuff I was expecting at Krystal was actually happening at Platinum.

The common design theme for clubs here in Geneva seems to be the darker the place the better and that place was no exception. It was very very dark, it was absolutely unnecessary that I spackled on the 2 centimeters of make-up that night. I could have gone with as little as a bit of mascara and I would have looked like a movie star.

So it was dark and incredibly loud. I´m usually a person who listens to his Ipod on full volume, so not only will I be deaf by the age of 40 but it´s also a bad sign if I consider music at a club too loud. I had a very nice husky voice when I got up this morning from all the screaming that was going on trying to communicate with my friends.

The most shocking thing at Platinum for me was the age of the partying people. It was like elementary school in there. 15 year old Boys smoking cigars, nearly choking on them, the size of bananas. I am sorry but it looks very wrong seeing a pimple-faced kid sucking on such a thing, it´s almost homoerotic in a very sick and twisted way. The girls were dressed up to the heels. Well the heals were ugly Gucci boots, but the drag queen make up from the little hooker collection made up for the bad shoes. I assume these are the kids people in Geneva are talking about. The ones spending dad´s money and probably dieing of an overdose by the age of 18. Of course they were drinking like fish, pretending to like the champagne, vodka and gin. I honestly believe they didn´t like it. The only booze I liked when I was their age was Baileys because it was so sweet. So you had a room full of drunk, horny and nicotine buzzed teenagers pretending to be grown ups. I felt so old it was unbearable. I was actually waiting for one of the kids to offer me his seat since standing up a prolonged period of time cannot be healthy for a person my age. There is a huge LED display on the wall behind the DJ which is able to show very sophisticated coloured animations, but yesterday the only thing it was showing was "THIS IS GENEVA" in huge white letters on a black background. I think it´s for the kids to remember where they are so they can call their drivers to pick them up after they have puked their guts out on the toilet.

My friends and I finished our drinks quite fast and left. We spent a maximum of 15 minutes in there. 15 minutes too long. We moved on to Shakers, the place where old sad losers like us belong to. It´s way more fun to be drunk, horny and nicotine buzzed in a place where the people around you are your age.

I learned my lesson and I will never ever go to Platinum again if it´s not a special party. It was a very entertaining night though.

Breaking The Habit

I HAD ENOUGH!!!

I have been trying to quit smoking a zillion times and I failed every single time. I tried cold turkey, which nearly resulted in a murder-suicide, gum which burned my gums because I was chewing frantically trying to get all the nicotine out of it, the stuff with the needles, what´s it called - heroin, just kidding, and patches. The patches were providing the best results but eventually I would start smoking again so mission not accomplished.

I smoke since I am 16, it started with 2 or 3 ciggies a day in school, just to fit in. I can´t believe that I was so stupid to fall for it. The bad thing about smoking is that you really don´t like it in the beginning. It tastes awful and the buzz it gives you is rather disturbing, so why would you become addicted to that stuff. Well I did, like most of the other "cool" kids. Fast forward to twelve years later, smoking around 30 cigarettes a day. That means, if I calculate an average of 25 cigarretes per day, that I have smoked 109.500 cigarettes in my life. That´s insane, that´s 5.475 packs or 35.000 Francs, at going rate. Did I get my moneys worth? I sure did. I am not able to smell or taste as good as non-smokers. I have big pores, my skin aged pre-maturely, my teeth are not as white as they could be, my clothes stink, I stink, I am moody, basicly I am an outlaw in this world where more and more people don´t smoke. Not thinking about the fact that I may die younger because of this filthy habit.

I don´t regret having my face botoxed, but what I regret is that it might not have been necessary if I had chosen not to smoke at all.

So, from tomorrow, Saturday the 5th of April, on I will start to take Champix, Pfizer´s more or less new anti smoking pill. That stuff is like Methadone, blocking the receptors for nicotine, so smoking will not have the desired effect anymore. I will have to stop smoking within 8 days of starting taking the pills. We´ll see how that goes. I am already looking forward to the weight gain, mood swings and being more bitchy than ever.

Pastels Are Back - The End Is Near

Flipping through the latest issue of GQ I realized that my biggest nightmare in terms of colours is back, Pastels. I hate them from the bottom of my heart. For me, pastels are such an uninspired coulour, if you have no clue what colour you like or you are afraid to make a statement, just wear pastels.

Wearing colours was never my cup of tea, I tried it several times and it failed horribly every single time. I guess my skin looks even more pale when I wear colours and on top I have no clue what colour goes with what skin tone. I guess I would have been a great costume designer in the era of silent movies but nowadays I would screw it up big time.

Anyway, pastels are back. From Alexander McQueen to Ermenegildo Zegna all major designers feature pastels exessively in their mens spring/summer 2008 collections and I´m seriously worried what will be next. After pastels there is only one way, down hill.

Pastels are for french pastries, men in their midlife crisis, rich bitches whose faces have been pulled so tight that they can´t see what they´re buying, dog clothing, cough drops and boring wedding china.

I will ignore this trend, like most of the other trends, and will stick with a fresh mouse grey, Hollywood bleached teeth white and the usual jet black this season.

Picture: GQ

How To Get Rid Of Puffy Eyes

Everyone knows the problem. You have been clubbing way too long the night before and you have an important meeting / brunch / shopping trip in the morning. You drag yourself out of bed and there they are. Big swollen bags under your eyes plus red eyes that would make a great addition to your zombie halloween outfit.

It is always a good idea to have two coffee spoons in the freezer. In case you had a fabulous night but a not so fabulous morning, simply get the spoons out of the freezer and place them over your eyes for a couple of minutes. Add a few drops of Visine and you are good to go. If there is still a bit of swelling going on, simply put a small ammount of hemorrhoid cream under your eyes. The cream will contract the tissue and therefore giving you a mini eye lift. Do not use the cream too often, it´s supposed to be a S.O.S. measure.

Botox - Before And After

Allright, in my previous Blog I said I would post some before and after pics of my Botox.


I am very selective with pictures of me, so it was hard to find a good before picture.
I found one which was taken a month ago. I must say that my lines were in an early state so I could cover them up pretty well with concealer. Note that the before picture is actually a picture where I have applied concealer. Simply couldn´t find a better one. The after pic is from today, right after the shower, no make up no concealer, no moisturizer no photoshop whatsoever as you can see from the zit I have going on there.

Had the Botox 14 days ago and I will have the touch up tomorrow. The pores look funky, that´s because the skin is flat now and not tilted like before. It is only temporary so soon it will look great. Click on the picture for a larger view.

Update:
Seven months after my initial treatment and a touch-up after 5 months there is not a single line on my forehead. I am really happy with the results.



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German Stereotypes

There are lots of websites filled with cliches about Germans and being German I was wondering if they are right or not. So here is a quick check if I am a typical German or not.

Germans are fat.
I have a BMI of 19.0 so I can say that I am not fat.

Germans wear leather trousers, all of them do.
Lederhosen are part of the traditional dress of Bavaria and Bavaria is only a small part of Germany. I have never owned or worn a pair of Lederhosen, although I think they make a nice ass.

Germans have beer guts and drink beer like water.
I don´t like beer at all. I am more of a vodka person but a lot of Germans love love love their beer.

Germans eat a lot of Sauerkraut and Bratwurst.
I don´t like Sauerkraut, it makes me bloated and I don´t like the taste. I like Bratwurst but prefer Currywurst, which is a cut up bratwurst topped with warm ketchup and curry powder. The don´t have it in Geneva so I eat it once or twice a year. The typical German eats 32 kilos of sausage a year. Amazing isn´t it?

Germans wear beards.
I was never very fond of facial hair, at least not on myself. It looks very weird, very wrong and doesn´t go very well with my design theme.

Germans have blond hair and blue eyes.
I have blue eyes, even without my contacts, and I am a very dark, dirty blond. With all the gel I put in it looks nearly black though.

Germans have a terrifying efficiency.
I wish that would be true for me but I am slightly ADD, so not really. I just want things to be done properly. I don´t do half way.

Germans want world domination.
What is wrong with that?

Germans speak very good English with a very bad accent.
I even think in English and my German is getting really bad. I think I got rid of most of my accent. I can pronounce a TH as in with, without problem. Even a W is not a problem. But there are some words I am struggling with but mainly because I never heard them spoken but read them before. I just learned how to say counterfeit.

Germans have no humor.
I would say my humor is more British than German. Germans prefer a lot of very blunt and vulgar jokes.

Germans go to Mallorca for holidays.
I have been there once, so it´s partially true, but I hated it. If I want to see drunk misbehaving Germans I don´t have to go to a Spanish island to see that.

Germans love David Hasselhoff.
I must admit that I loved Knight Rider and that I owned some of his records. Hey, those were the 80´s and I was so not cool.

Germans make good bread.
So true, I love good bread but cannot make it myself. Switzerland is kind of ok, but I guess I will suffer if I ever have to live in the states.

Germans are very punctual.
I am very punctual to an extent it´s painful. I have to work on that since I get really upset if someone is even 2 minutes too late. Back in Germany I would call after 2 minutes and leave after waiting for 10 minutes. Time is one of the things I can never get back. Once lost it´s lost forever.

Oh dear, writing that list makes me realize how much of a German I really am, so I will stop here before I start to get depressed. I really wanna do a list about gay cliches, but I guess I will do that later on.

You should follow me on twitter here.

Internet, CAN`T Live Without It

Because of some contract changes I was without Internet for 7 hours today and I am still a bit shaken up. When did I become so addicted to the Net? I mean I spent most of my youth without Internet, till the age of 17 to be precise though I had a computer, but nowadays I am pretty much helpless without it. I wanted to look up the number for the Swisscom hotline, oh wait no internet. I wanted to check if my flight to Düsseldorf has been confirmed, same thing. I wanted to fax a copy of the contract to Swisscom, dang I use an internet to fax gateway.

Thank god I had my trusty Blackberry, otherwise I would have had to go to one of these cafes and type on a germ infected keyboard, eeeeeeew. Isn´t it amazing how much the net changed our lives? Back then you would go to your mailbox looking forward to snail mail from your friends, though I never replyied I rather called and today you simply don´t want to open your mailbox since the only people who send you mail in the old fashioned way want money from you.

I really should look into hacking my neigbours wifi, just in case.