Sunday, 6 April 2008
Welcome To Kindergarten, We Accept Credit Cards
I finally went out again last night and I mean going out in the sense of club hopping, seeing friends and coming home hammered at 5 in the morning.
A friend of ours celebrated her birthday at Krystal yesterday. I have never been nor heard of the place before so I was quite curious what this place would have to offer. It was a special party yesterday, the so called "Russian Party" so I was ready to see some really freaky stuff going on.
The party was nice, the music a bit on the special side of things. I never understood Russian music, it always sounded like 1990´s euro-trash meets intoxicated singer to me and yesterday was no exception. Lot´s of songs were T.A.T.U remixes. T.A.T.U the pseudo lesbian hot lolita chicks combo which was huge a few years ago. I expected more bleached blondes with huge lips but the number of guys with no taste in clothing, very expensive watches which looked like toasters on their wrists, and a complete lack of rhythm was impressive.
I got bored after a while so some friends decided that we should move on to another place. While in the car we were contemplating where to go and we decided that we should give Platinum a try. I have been to Platinum a couple of times, but never on a regular Friday or Saturday, only to special parties. The freaky stuff I was expecting at Krystal was actually happening at Platinum.
The common design theme for clubs here in Geneva seems to be the darker the place the better and that place was no exception. It was very very dark, it was absolutely unnecessary that I spackled on the 2 centimeters of make-up that night. I could have gone with as little as a bit of mascara and I would have looked like a movie star.
So it was dark and incredibly loud. I´m usually a person who listens to his Ipod on full volume, so not only will I be deaf by the age of 40 but it´s also a bad sign if I consider music at a club too loud. I had a very nice husky voice when I got up this morning from all the screaming that was going on trying to communicate with my friends.
The most shocking thing at Platinum for me was the age of the partying people. It was like elementary school in there. 15 year old Boys smoking cigars, nearly choking on them, the size of bananas. I am sorry but it looks very wrong seeing a pimple-faced kid sucking on such a thing, it´s almost homoerotic in a very sick and twisted way. The girls were dressed up to the heels. Well the heals were ugly Gucci boots, but the drag queen make up from the little hooker collection made up for the bad shoes. I assume these are the kids people in Geneva are talking about. The ones spending dad´s money and probably dieing of an overdose by the age of 18. Of course they were drinking like fish, pretending to like the champagne, vodka and gin. I honestly believe they didn´t like it. The only booze I liked when I was their age was Baileys because it was so sweet. So you had a room full of drunk, horny and nicotine buzzed teenagers pretending to be grown ups. I felt so old it was unbearable. I was actually waiting for one of the kids to offer me his seat since standing up a prolonged period of time cannot be healthy for a person my age. There is a huge LED display on the wall behind the DJ which is able to show very sophisticated coloured animations, but yesterday the only thing it was showing was "THIS IS GENEVA" in huge white letters on a black background. I think it´s for the kids to remember where they are so they can call their drivers to pick them up after they have puked their guts out on the toilet.
My friends and I finished our drinks quite fast and left. We spent a maximum of 15 minutes in there. 15 minutes too long. We moved on to Shakers, the place where old sad losers like us belong to. It´s way more fun to be drunk, horny and nicotine buzzed in a place where the people around you are your age.
I learned my lesson and I will never ever go to Platinum again if it´s not a special party. It was a very entertaining night though.
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1 comment:
I love the title of this blog. I am glad I am not the only one who has the feeling there should be a sign at the entrance to some of these clubs saying "You must be at least this tall to get on this ride."
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